“But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my race and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.” - Acts 20:24
It’s so hard not to get frustrated right now. This semester has just been ridiculous and I don’t even know how to put that in any other terms. What was expected of me last year as far as schoolwork and other commitments go doesn’t even compare to how much it’s stepped up this year.
Right now, my race is this semester. It’s anatomy, it’s micro, it’s nutrition, it’s music 210, it’s CI, it’s the clinic, it’s church, it’s friends, it’s time management, everything. And it’s so easy to just forget that right here, right now is where i’ve been specifically placed as my ministry and for that reason, I need to finish it with all my heart. To not get burned out and tired and just give up, but to see this present situation as a gift from God and work at it with that mindset.
easier said than done?
11.05.2009
11.01.2009
summer 10
I’m starting to think a lot about next summer. Where I’m supposed to be and whether or not it’s at Snowbird, or in Clemson, or at home, or somewhere else I haven’t even thought about. I really hope my place is at Snowbird, but I’m just not sure. I’m the type of person who has to have a plan and right now I don’t and I don’t like it.
I’m thinking about Summerlink Clemson. I wanted to do it last summer in Hilton Head, but so many things made me decide not to. If I did do C-link, I’d be working at my church, living in and impacting the city where I’ll be even after the summer, and the people I live and work with with will still be in Clemson next semester. That’s a huge deal for me.
But Snowbird is Snowbird, and I love it. I know it’s where God put me last summer, and I love the people there and seeing how that place is used in so many lives, including my own. I’d love to spend another summer there as long as it’s for the right reasons. I don’t particularly care that C-link would be more comfortable, that I would get more sleep there or live in my apartment instead of a cabin or my car or my hammock. That stuff doesn’t really matter to me.
I’m thinking about Summerlink Clemson. I wanted to do it last summer in Hilton Head, but so many things made me decide not to. If I did do C-link, I’d be working at my church, living in and impacting the city where I’ll be even after the summer, and the people I live and work with with will still be in Clemson next semester. That’s a huge deal for me.
But Snowbird is Snowbird, and I love it. I know it’s where God put me last summer, and I love the people there and seeing how that place is used in so many lives, including my own. I’d love to spend another summer there as long as it’s for the right reasons. I don’t particularly care that C-link would be more comfortable, that I would get more sleep there or live in my apartment instead of a cabin or my car or my hammock. That stuff doesn’t really matter to me.
10.18.2009
fall semester
I have every intention of keeping up with this. It just never happens.
This semester has been a whirlwind. Somewhere between best semester ever and worst semester ever. I LOVE everything about this year minus the actual school part. I have great friends, great roommates, i love my apartment, my church… It’s also been HARD and busy. school is hard. nursing is hard. I spend a lot of time doing homework. On top of that, I have my clinic hours, classes, church stuff and trying not to completely neglect friendships. It’s really overwhelming. God’s been teaching me a lot lately but mostly I’m just too stubborn to give in to it.
This post is about as long as my attention span will last.
This semester has been a whirlwind. Somewhere between best semester ever and worst semester ever. I LOVE everything about this year minus the actual school part. I have great friends, great roommates, i love my apartment, my church… It’s also been HARD and busy. school is hard. nursing is hard. I spend a lot of time doing homework. On top of that, I have my clinic hours, classes, church stuff and trying not to completely neglect friendships. It’s really overwhelming. God’s been teaching me a lot lately but mostly I’m just too stubborn to give in to it.
This post is about as long as my attention span will last.
8.19.2009
oops
I kept my promise and didn’t update this but once all summer. My summer was fantastic, by the way. I’m home now, and although home doesn't really feel like home, in a way, it’s nice to be here. Now that I’m home, I’m so ready for Clemson.
I went to a real church this morning for the first time since may. At first, it was weird to be in a real church service, without sitting in rocking chairs or on the floor, wearing basketball shorts and a tshirt and being packed in like sardines. Actually, I take back that sardines part. I’ve been in so many different church settings in the last few years. FBC Youth. Crossroads and Youth Remedy. The random church hopping we did for awhile. Gateway Junior year, and Gateway Senior year. I feel like they should be two separate categories. (Awakening Redneck Summer, anyone?) DCF, Newspring, and finally Crosspoint. Snowbird.
This morning, Adam talked about church. How, after being in Chicago for a week, his heart wasn’t in being there preaching to the choir. He said after seeing ministry in action, outside of walls and time restraints and routine, it was hard to go back to real life. I can completely understand that.
I went to a real church this morning for the first time since may. At first, it was weird to be in a real church service, without sitting in rocking chairs or on the floor, wearing basketball shorts and a tshirt and being packed in like sardines. Actually, I take back that sardines part. I’ve been in so many different church settings in the last few years. FBC Youth. Crossroads and Youth Remedy. The random church hopping we did for awhile. Gateway Junior year, and Gateway Senior year. I feel like they should be two separate categories. (Awakening Redneck Summer, anyone?) DCF, Newspring, and finally Crosspoint. Snowbird.
This morning, Adam talked about church. How, after being in Chicago for a week, his heart wasn’t in being there preaching to the choir. He said after seeing ministry in action, outside of walls and time restraints and routine, it was hard to go back to real life. I can completely understand that.
8.05.2009
home
So. Camp is dunzo. I'm home. (and right now, Rachel Eckard needs to get her butt back home as well, because I miss her a lot)
At this point, i can actually see the trunk of my car. People can sit in my backseat without being eaten by a pile of clothes. My internet is fast enough to not make me want to throw my laptop out the window. Normal hygiene includes taking a shower every day. I don't have to count quarters whenever I want to do laundry. Sleeping in is later than 7am. I can take a nap whenever I feel like it. I can decide to go to Walmart and be there 5 minutes later. Starbucks isn't a roadtrip in itself. It's really, really hot here, and it never rains in this city. Jack Kuenzie is staring at me from the TV screen. Also, did I mention it's hot here? hot hot hot.
Summer is over.
I expected coming home to be really, really weird. But it hasn't been so far. It doesn't really feel like I've been gone since May. I was sad the night before I left Andrews, but once Suz and I got out of the gorge, camp seemed like forever ago. I think I always get sad in anticipation of things like this, but then it never ends up being as bad as I think it will be. It's still kind of crazy to think that life goes on outside of camp. That Lexington has still been moving and changing even though I haven't been here. I should be used to that since I don't really live here anymore, but I'm not.
CVS moved. Alltel is Verizon now. They're building a new Walgreens. Walmart is rearranged (but wait--that was before the summer? Either way, it's annoying. I can't find anything). They tore down Zesto's, which used to be the old Burger King where me and Anna would make my mom take weekly trips to just so we could collect the Rugrats roller coaster toys. I hated Burger King food, by the way. I walked into Moe's yesterday and didn't know anyone working. I went to Coldstone and only knew one.
I don't even know where to start when it comes to talking about the summer. It was good. Descriptive words aren't exactly what I'm good at. I haven't talked or written too much about it, other than the whole "it-was-fun-i-went-canoeing-and-i-hung-out-with-camperes to everyone who has asked me the how-was-your-summer-because-i-haven't-seen-you-in-three-months" question, just because I honestly don't even know where to begin. But just thinking about it still makes me smile, because it was so evident that God is there and working it's crazy.
But I can't imagine having done anything better with my summer. It was definitely a learning experience, and I probably made more mistakes than I can count. But God was and still is sufficient. For the summer, and forever. That's what I've learned, above all. And that's all I need to know.
Someone told me during the last few days of SWO9 that the God of Snowbird is the same God that's in Clemson and in Columbia. I wish I remembered who said that. But they were undoubtedly right and I think that's something that's all too easy to forget as we go back into the real world where we have to seek out ministry and not just have it come to us every Monday afternoon. I wanted to tag all of you, but apparently facebook has limits for those things. dumb.
And finally.
SWO staff.
You all need to transfer to Clemson University. However, I understand this might be intimidating because some of you go to schools like Liberty that love Jesus much more than Clemson does. If Clemson is too heathen for you, transferring to North Greenville would be acceptable as well. Understood?
At this point, i can actually see the trunk of my car. People can sit in my backseat without being eaten by a pile of clothes. My internet is fast enough to not make me want to throw my laptop out the window. Normal hygiene includes taking a shower every day. I don't have to count quarters whenever I want to do laundry. Sleeping in is later than 7am. I can take a nap whenever I feel like it. I can decide to go to Walmart and be there 5 minutes later. Starbucks isn't a roadtrip in itself. It's really, really hot here, and it never rains in this city. Jack Kuenzie is staring at me from the TV screen. Also, did I mention it's hot here? hot hot hot.
Summer is over.
I expected coming home to be really, really weird. But it hasn't been so far. It doesn't really feel like I've been gone since May. I was sad the night before I left Andrews, but once Suz and I got out of the gorge, camp seemed like forever ago. I think I always get sad in anticipation of things like this, but then it never ends up being as bad as I think it will be. It's still kind of crazy to think that life goes on outside of camp. That Lexington has still been moving and changing even though I haven't been here. I should be used to that since I don't really live here anymore, but I'm not.
CVS moved. Alltel is Verizon now. They're building a new Walgreens. Walmart is rearranged (but wait--that was before the summer? Either way, it's annoying. I can't find anything). They tore down Zesto's, which used to be the old Burger King where me and Anna would make my mom take weekly trips to just so we could collect the Rugrats roller coaster toys. I hated Burger King food, by the way. I walked into Moe's yesterday and didn't know anyone working. I went to Coldstone and only knew one.
I don't even know where to start when it comes to talking about the summer. It was good. Descriptive words aren't exactly what I'm good at. I haven't talked or written too much about it, other than the whole "it-was-fun-i-went-canoeing-and-i-hung-out-with-camperes to everyone who has asked me the how-was-your-summer-because-i-haven't-seen-you-in-three-months" question, just because I honestly don't even know where to begin. But just thinking about it still makes me smile, because it was so evident that God is there and working it's crazy.
But I can't imagine having done anything better with my summer. It was definitely a learning experience, and I probably made more mistakes than I can count. But God was and still is sufficient. For the summer, and forever. That's what I've learned, above all. And that's all I need to know.
Someone told me during the last few days of SWO9 that the God of Snowbird is the same God that's in Clemson and in Columbia. I wish I remembered who said that. But they were undoubtedly right and I think that's something that's all too easy to forget as we go back into the real world where we have to seek out ministry and not just have it come to us every Monday afternoon. I wanted to tag all of you, but apparently facebook has limits for those things. dumb.
And finally.
SWO staff.
You all need to transfer to Clemson University. However, I understand this might be intimidating because some of you go to schools like Liberty that love Jesus much more than Clemson does. If Clemson is too heathen for you, transferring to North Greenville would be acceptable as well. Understood?
7.19.2009
almost over
Only two more weeks of summer to go. Actually, there’s almost a month left of summer, but I know that once I leave here, it won’t really feel like summer anymore.I really don’t feel like I’ve been here for nine weeks, but at the same time, week one, staff training, the trip here… seem like such a long time ago. The whole time I’ve been here, I haven’t wanted to leave, but in all the ups and downs of the last week, I’m starting to realize that there are still things I miss about home. And about Clemson. And while leaving the community here, and the “Little town with the Big Heart” Andrews, NC will be hard, I’m growing more ok with it as it gets closer.
It’s been such a bittersweet summer. it’s been hard but I’ve loved every minute of it. First Baptist is coming tomorrow. I’m really excited. The excitement of seeing them has been a good reminder that goes on outside of camp. My little sister has her license now, and I’ll have to remember to hide my keys when I go home. I’ve been in a consistent summer-long game of phone tag with the some of the people I love the most. I’ve almost forgotten that in the real world, most people take showers every day and don’t live out of their cars or all the other things I’ve gotten used to doing here.
Real world, I hate you but i kinda sorta miss you.
5.30.2009
staff training
I don’t really like blogging, to be honest. By the time I think to write something down, I usually don’t remember it anymore. Maybe I’ll try to change that this summer. Camp is good. I feel like that’s probably the most generalized statement ever, but it’s basically true.
At this point, there’s no question in my mind that I’m where I’m supposed to spend the summer. After months of replaying all the scenarios in my head and doubting whether or not I’d made the right choice… I think I did. Actually.. I know I did.
Yesterday was our last day of official staff training. Today and tomorrow are just kind of chill days, and we start getting campers on Monday, which is definitely going to be a new experience, but a blast at the same time. I’m excited.
my laptop battery is about to die. We’ll see if I ever update this again.
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