The Last Laugh

This semester, I had some pretty strange professors. Some of them were a good kind of strange, others I wondered how... well, i just wondered. So, I compiled this list for everyone to enjoy the ridiculousness of my semester.

“my biggest beef is with people who insist that Las Vegas, with its 120+ degree heat, isn’t so bad because it’s “dry heat”… well my oven is dry heat and it cooks a chicken” - Cummings

“a sauna is a stove for people” - Cummings

“when I’m cold I can throw on another layer… when it’s hot, I can only get so naked” - Cummings

"Pretty please. Pretty please with sugar on it. Pretty please with high fructose corn syrup and MSG on it. " - Wentworth

"Germs don't cause diseases" - Wentworth

"I mean, of course there's water in your bladder... you don't pee powder, now do you?" - Cummings

"This is what happenes when you have blood flowing for your veins - but of course, this doesn't apply to me because i'm a VAMPIRE and i don't have blood" - Wentworth

"A phagocyte turns into a phagosome, which binds with a lysosome. And when the phagosome binds with a lysosome, it becomes a phagolysosome. That’s about as close to Dr. Seuss as this class is going to get" - Cummings

"My name is William... but i prefer to go by billy beau bob bubba boy of the best and biggest bayous of Biloxi" - Wentworth

"coughcoughcoughcoughcoughcoughcoughcough...WHOOP" - Mickelsen

"Type 3 secretions are just like a big secret meeting of microbes sitting around to figure out how they can cause infections" - Mickelsen

"There are over SIXTY THOUSAND miles of blood vessels in the human body. So next time you get bored driving to Charleston, just remember the poor little erythrocytes" - Cummings

"it's like eharmony.com... you just have to find the right antigen to bind to and some just need a little extra help" - Mickelsen

"I think Hell is just going to be a lot like Clemson - you just have to drive around forever and ever looking for a dang parking spot!" - Eddie Smith

"One time I had a student who took a whole semester off of school go to live in the same town Charles Manson was from and research his life... I gave him an A just in case" - Eddie Smith

"When you don't have friends and you feel all alone... just remember that your resident microflora will always be there" - Mickelsen

“I grew up (although some people will argue that never happened) in Ohio” - Cummings

"Doing this hurts like heck, but i'm a masochist and i have to prove a point" - Wentworth

"Ahh... the best love stories involve fiery crashes and health insurance" - Wentworth

"Any Questions? Comments? Concerns? Hateful Comments? Wishful Thinkings? Faces you used to make behind your teacher's back in fifth grade? Mean insults you learned in fourth grade? Finger gestures you secretly learned in middle school? Dark Secrets? Dirty Jokes? Speak now or forever hold your peace" - Wentworth

"Evidence based medicine, who needs it? You certainly do not need it if you WANT to kill a few brains, I guess." - Wentworth

"We're talking raw milk here... and I have 2 and a half gallons of the illegal stuff in my fridge right now! - Wentworth

"If you lived back in the 1940's, you wanted to make sure you stayed near the top of your class... otherwise you might have ended up one of those people who has to taste urine for presence of glucose" - Cummings