the beginning of the end (or end of the beginning)

Eventually, I will get to the point where I don't feel the need to start every post with "It's been so long since I've posted." Eventually. Not there yet.

Today was my last day in the Progressive Care Unit at Oconee Medical Center. It was definitely a bittersweet shift. On one hand, it is SO great to know that I am that much closer to the end of nursing school. Two weeks from today, you better believe I will be snatching that diploma out of James F. Barker's hands. But on the flip side, that is one step closer to being thrown into the next couple months of complete uncertainty. I still don't have a job, still don't know where I am living after July 31st, and to stretch it to melodramaticism, have no idea what I am doing with my life.

My decision to work at Snowbird last summer was not one that I took lightly. I would consider it to be the most prayer-covered and faith-driven choice I have ever made - more than what college to go to, which major to pick, or any of the really significant stuff. I knew that turning down one guaranteed externship and a pretty good shot at another would probably impact my job market. I still don't know the extent to which it will, but I am sure it may cause some frustration in the near future.

What I thought I wanted a month ago and what I think I want now are two very different things. I didn't expect that. For the majority of my clinical career, I have been completely sold on the ER. I love the trauma, the excitement, the pace, the adrenaline, the variety, and the unpredictability that the Emergency Department brings. But over the last five weeks, I have really grown to love the environment of the PCU more than I ever imagined I would. I don't know if this was meant to make me more open to whatever new place God was going to take me next, or if He is going to work it out for me to be able to stay in this specific place. I am hoping for the latter, but increasingly open to both options.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DorjH_O-20g

This is the song that was playing as I got into my car tonight. I'd never heard it before, but it's called "Rest in the Hope" by Karyn Williams. It was such an awesome reminder that whatever happens, wherever I end up, God IS in control


You are the truth that never changes
You are the love that came to save us
I am Yours.
Even through all my fear and sorrow
Facing a new unknown tomorrow
I am sure that I'm going to rest in the hope
that I'm Yours.