pretty little liars

I am trying to do a good job of writing what I am thinking, mostly because of the immense value of being able to read back over it later and often, the encouragement it brings to know that I do NOT think like I did even as recently as a year ago. The other day, I rediscovered my Xanga page from my freshman year of high school. While it is much too embarrassing to publish the link, it's always encouraging to see how God has corrected my thinking and ranting, and reformed my immaturity. To an extent, at least :)

This may not make much sense, but here's an attempt. Lately, more so than ever, I have learned to really appreciate the value of truth, and how integral is really is daily interactions. When asked a question, a response can go one of two ways - truth or lie. But the question is, how often do those lines get blurred? Whether it comes in blatant lies, deceitful half-truths, or simply by silence, truth does not have near the value it should. We lie about stupid things, and about things where the truth would not even be consequential, and I am trying to wrap my mind around how that has become so accepted and common.

I don't want to be a skeptical person, but as a side note, I think I am becoming that way even in relationships not deserving of suspicion.

My most recent endeavor has been to be a more honest person (Although it may not be wise to ask Pam or Sara what might have come from that ambition yesterday). I have a reputation of being blunt, but I think that is most definitely situational. I wouldn't consider myself a pathological liar by any definition, but I so often fail when it comes to honesty. My problem is not with lying, but in avoiding topics, sugar coating things, beating around the bush, telling people what they want to hear, ignoring issues in an attempt to please others, and essentially lying by omission. Ultimately, the only person that is ever going to hurt is myself, and so goes the trial run in fixing that.

I have too often had to choose between opening my mouth and screwing myself over, or keeping my mouth shut and watching silently while other people self destruct. I would like to get to the point where I care more about people than I do about people liking me.